Why do calories taste so amazing?

I remember watching a chef boyardee commercial like 10 years ago
and the little boy in it saying "Why does everything thats good for me taste bad"
and he got kicked out of school or whatever.

Seriously....

Why does mcdonalds, burger king, wendys, dominoes or any fast food restaurant have such
grrrrreaaat tasting things but are complete garbage health wise?

Why do all the "fat free" or "50% less saturated whatever" things taste so much worse than
the regular versions?

My hypothesis is that it must be the calories. Calories must be what is making all these things taste
so delicious. And the more calories a triple whopper with cheese and bacon has the better.

So I propose a solution to the FDA. Would it be possible to make "calories" into some sort of spice, like salt or pepper or paprika or thyme or some shit?

Then just make everything no calories and people can add their own.

So if you want to be a skinny mini dont put any calories or just dash some on for taste...

And if you feel like being fat about things then go buck with the calories shaker.

The possibilities are endless there can be different flavours of these 'calories' spices...

On that note Im gonna get ready for my gig tonight and plan out having a big big poutine afterwards...

Mmmmm calories taste so amazing..